American Apparel Update

So remember that post a while back where I relayed my cheeky and hilarious cover letter to American Apparel? For the longest time I didn’t hear anything, which is exactly what I expected. But, the other day, out of the blue, I get a call from an unrecognized New York number. And who should it be, but Aaron from the staffing department of AA, calling to see if I could come in for an interview! Well, Aaron old pal, I was sorry to tell you that that train has sailed and I have been taken by another lover, good old NYFA. Who would’ve guessed that two months after applying for a minimum wage retail job I would’ve given up on that dream and gone on with life? Not Aaron. Sigh. Don’t worry buddy, somewhere out there, in Williamsburg, there are a dozen hipsters waiting weeks by the phone to hear from you, for their chance at amazing discounts and the chance to sleep with Dov Charney. Keep in touch.

The Cover Letter I Just Wrote To American Apparel

I seriously just wrote and submitted this on a job application:

Dear Sir or Madam,
Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of writing cover letters to “Sir or Madam.” I just want a job to pay my bills. I think American Apparel is pretty awesome, and it would be cool to work there. I have some retail experience – I spent one holiday season working at a Vans shoe store in Baltimore, Maryland. Selling shoes is a little more hands-on than selling clothes, I think, because typically (I would assume) the salespeople at American Apparel probably don’t put the leotard on the potential buyer. Not so, in shoe sales. I’m getting off topic. I actually enjoyed selling shoes at Vans, because I love their product, I wear it myself, and I believe in its awesomeness. The same is true for American Apparel. I find your t-shirts to be the softest around, and your variety of colors cannot be beat. In getting down to business, I am a hard worker, fast learner, and good problem solver with a positive attitude and good sense of humor, and hopefully, you’ll consider me for this job. Thanks bunches,
Love,
Alison

And here’s the photo I submitted:

If that doesn’t get me hired, nothing will.