FACTS ABOUT ALISON:
- Being brought up in an emotionally repressed household required Alison to develop a sense of humor that would result in inappropriate outbursts of offensive jokes and uncontrollable rage, sometimes both at once.
- Alison would never pretend she didn’t like Britney Spears because it’s not cool. Alison is not cool.
- At some point, Alison will slam your finger in a car door. And you need that finger.
- When she grows up, Alison wants to be a European.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU IGNORANT, LITTLE INGRATE!?! AN EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED HOUSEHOLD???? WHY I OUGHTA . . . !!!!
Love,
Mom
it’s a joke, mom, i’m trying to tell joooooookes. let the laughter in. please don’t beat me.
Seriously, AllieG, I’m lovin’ what you’re doing here. You’re the coolest uncool kid I know.
Very impressed, amused, and very proud,
Your secret admirer,
Mom